Pejj sebelas

The story.

2010-08-21T00:08:00.001+08:00

I am officially emotionally and physically unstable. I had gone a LOT of chaotic things this week.

It started on my last week of my job as a sales assistant. Reden and i spoken for quite some time. Reden, by the way is a philippine guy that delivered pizza. I felt some spark thingy going on, and i probably or must have been caught in his hook, in those devil cute eyes. I, for no such explanation has become fond and crazy of him. I even text him, well its just crazy things that i'd never thought i could've done. Im just plain idiot, knowing that he's just messing around, calling me 'sayang' and all. Thats just what they usually have done. Their so called charm, and i dont know. I even put away and hinder beau. I told him that i kinda dated someone and you have to shushh away. By doing that i dont knw, is it him feels the pain or was it me, myself? Its true i wanted him to have an idea that its not always about him, there's more out there and at the same time reden was there and i kinda use reden, in ths case.

I've no idea how things have turned out. Reden, of course will called everyone sayang. We had spark, but that was a lust.. I do mind, bt its not going anywhere. But with beau, i am absolutely frustrated. He didnt reply my text, does it hurt him when i says there's someone else or was it a relief for him that finally i'll stop bothering him.. I've no idea. But i knew that i miss him. I didnt get to say goodbye, it may sound dramatic but everything has changed. I've got to accept that we're no longer on the same roof. As much as i hate the fact that everything has changed, i cant undo nothing. I've got to go with flow.. Itb is what im dealing now, no more pearl haya, no more hua ho and the surrounding.

For the past 8 months i've been there, with lust with woobie, mr. Guardian aka scb, reden and man, i never regret meeting those people. They taught me one thing; sometimes you gotta fool around and learn few life lessons from it.

No more sorrow, wither, tears or any weaknesses. I'll try to focus on one main thing, being an excellent student in itb, or at least try not to fail. (:

Know nothing

2010-07-07T19:56:00.001+08:00

Hello. I simply wrote 'know nothing' on my blog title cuz simply i just know nothing. Apakaannn.

My day, as usual, waking up, work, eat, customers, stress, blaaahh and baby (:
he made my day. A quick thought of him cheers me up. I know it'll just be now, months after today i'll might end up somewhere and he might stays, we'll be in different direction in our lives. But now, we're in the same lane, i wanted to capture every single moment that i've left with him.

Im so glad to be one of his friend, so glad that we talked, so glad of everything. From january to july, i guess my one big thank would be finding him, admiring him and becoming his friend.

I know they always come and go. They will, somehow, or someday. Im used to it already, so this time instead of waiting for it to go, i'll capture every moment that i have, it'll never come twice, just once is enough.

Time is cruel on me. What left will just be another memory that will shed my tears. What left will be me, finding myself reminiscing our conversations over these past months. What left will be this bracelet that we both wore, as a sign of our friendship. Whats left will be.... Me, alone again.

I know now

2010-07-01T19:58:00.001+08:00

Update, again.
I feel like expressing everything here. In here, nobody will object. Everyone will obey whatever written here.

So here it goes... We talked early this evening. For a while but that was enough. Thank you dear. We exchanged these terrible faces, me and my marung face while he and the long face. Its nothing actually, but i find it amusing. Thats what we both treasure everytime we met. That makes me smile, again and again.

Baby, you're so ridiculously irresistable. You're so much different in your own way. Different much, but i adore it.

(=

Part 2.

2010-06-30T23:44:00.001+08:00

Facing you everyday is no longer a problem since we dont meet again. I dont see your smile nor hear your voice anymore.

I felt empty. I went upstairs and only saw you once, and never have the guts to look straight to your eyes.

I simply miss your presence. I do, and im hating the fact. You're always with your phone, probably texting with her and me, i also texted people. I do, but with customers and my boss. Nothing personal, just business.

I dislike you for making me feel so stupid, i dont want to act silly and i dont want to look desperate. But with you, i did all that.

Dear, if only you didnt cut your hair short, if only i ignore you in the first place, if only i didnt asked for you help, if only i didnt know nothing about you, if only.. If those things never occur, i wouldnt feel what im feeling right now. I will be perfectly fine even if you work somewhere else. But, reality check, im stuck here, with all this 'crap'.

You linger in my mind.

No longer the 'in' thing.

2010-06-29T01:49:00.000+08:00

Blogging no longer part of my routine, no more riping my heart out for you to read. But now, for a certain reason i choose to write a post.

Someone just ripped this unheal heart with much trouble and bruises. Its not his fault though, but i cant blame myself alone on this matter. The same tragedy happens again, i wish to threw it away but maybe it is faith for me to feel the same way over and over again. Love and lust, engaged and disengaged, why?

Im so happy that i wasnt allowed to be too much happy. The happiness just dissapeared.

I wish you know dear that everytime you smiled, my heart smile along. You suits to be the guardian angel, but..never for me. Im just the friend, the one who stays there, stood still, the one who you will not said 'you are the only reason for me waking up every morning with a big smile on my face', im just going to be 'im thankful to have such a friend like you'.

You neglected our routines; talking to one another, making such terrible face expression, texting and updating our daily life. Those thing that you simply replaced by a smile. Just a smile.

I never own you but im afraid bit by bit im losing you. Losing you to her. I cant control you, i cant do nothing. I wish to stay away before you step aside of my life, just like the others did. I've made my decision to stay away, but i've got responsibility that makes me stay. I hope im brave enough to face you everyday.

Luahan hati ku yang paling dalam (:

June (:

2010-06-01T08:51:00.000+08:00

Hello. Its June. I always love june. The month that i was born, June. (:

i have told me self june is a month of bliss. So i spent my 1st June banking in ka ching. I ate breakfast, i went to work early, i just did everything perfectly. (: one thing i should imply in june would be 'relax'. Relax in a sense of relax dealing with customers, no more or only a little moodswing. Hehh. June oh june, i just love june. And i will love it more if it is june, 11.

Im almost reaching the age of 19. One and nine, almost close to the figure 2. Huhu, should act more mature i guess (:

Updates!

2010-05-25T14:39:00.001+08:00

Its been sooo long.
Imissyou me blog (:
and now i feel like blogging.

How should i start? I am so silly when it comes to the L word. So naive, so stupid. Why? Baby, im fond of you. But i dont want to love you, im afraid to. Im afraid that same tragedy will happen again. I like you when you talk and smile to me, i dislike you when you approaches others. When you laughed and smile to others, me heart collapse. I can't think of anything, i envy those whom you talked with. Why? I shouldn't. I dont own you nor disown you. You're free to do anything, but why did my heart being selfish, i wanted you to smile only to me and talk only to me. I shouldn't.

Jhandjahmtjapmdkag. Nyeh. I wish i could resist you.

If i..

2010-04-23T11:22:00.001+08:00

If i am gone, would you ever find me? Would you ever search for me?

I guess not. The only thing you would do is wishing me luck, well not that im not thankful but how i wish you would say more than that.

I realised day by day im fond of you, too much that i eventually, slowly, erasing wafie from me heart. Not that i love him no more, but i wanted to move on.

Seeing you, talking to you, just about everything makes me don't want to leave. But i have to leave someday..when that day come, would you ever know my heart have 'you' in it? Would you be able to figure out that i purposely talk about anything just to make you stay? Would you know im blushing whenever you smile?

How i wish you know baby...

When life gets tougher..

2010-04-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

...just ignore your surrounding. Simply ignore it, as if you doesn't belong to the world. Make up your own imaginary world. Tough isnt it? To do such thing, but when you did it, ahhh~ what a blissful life you could have.

One lesson that i should imply in my daily routine; saying NO! I should've done that, i cant do several things at one time, think too much in too little time, stay focus at all time and of course not split my body into half. So, dont expect anything extraordinary from me.

I was forced to choose, my event or that event.. With a quotation of 'too bad if you miss THE BIG EVENT' and So? I rather miss the glamorous or whatsoever event than to miss my own brother's wedding. I was so pissed that i dont give even a thought of being worry. I simply ignore, which makes me feel better.

Say me heartless, say me ungrateful, say anything, i dont mind. People cannot be instructed, i am a staff, not a slave and i deserve to be respected.

The end.

P/s: tomorrow i will start my work with one motto: be happy, no worries, and ignore the unpleasant situation (:

Confession

2010-04-06T00:01:00.005+08:00

I LIKE HIM.
TEHEEE (:

different in his own way.
just different, and i so like him. to the very max and sometimes i overly excited that i stared too much rather than hearing his stories.

Happy tuesday

2010-03-30T08:05:00.001+08:00

Morning.
Hopefully a good day today, very wanting today be a lucky day (:

today will be the starting of expo at mall gadong and it will be held for a week. I will be incharge for the whole week, and so i wanted very much to stay focus. Please stay focus and be more alert!

last night aunty told me buajah is more alert than me. As she quoted, 'walaupun ia mcm nini bnyk ckp bt she's alert. Its sad though pasl kau lagi lama dari ia. Im not trying to compare you both.' so i asked me self, why am not alert? Idk, will try my very best today. I dont want to be label as 'my mind will be somewhere if im not in manggis mall' hehh. Amin to my being focus and alert.

Byebye. Off to work!

Never say never

2010-03-20T10:54:00.002+08:00

I sit still. Am searching. Searching for something. Something that i said 'never' too, and now that never is what im looking for. In plain word, yo mana kau?

Hehh, too much of a thought in the early day, but yah im not having a pleasant day today. Argued with mummy and my sister. They're just so patronizing, argumentative, annoying and i was so mad that i did something with me room. Its all messed up, will clean it later.

Moodswing but now im in my 'okay' mood (:

p/s: tb, did u have a day off again? Why? Me want want to see you, nyeh..

fairytale

2010-03-17T01:48:00.002+08:00

If tomorrow never comes, will he know how much i love him?
After all that's been said and done you're just a part of me i can't let go

A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain

I don't want to lose this feeling
As i paced back and forth all this time cause i honestly believe in you
Never a clean break, no one here to save me

A combination lyrics from different songs; if tomorrow never comes, hard to say i'm sorry, eternal flame, white horse and breath.

if ever he read this, i wish he know how important he is. i wish he know even tons of people, i love him still. i wish he know this time, this love i had is never a hit and run situation, never a tragedy but a gift. BUT even he knows it all, what more can he do? he's just not that into me, maybe never or was.. i never knew. i wish i know. a glimpse thought i wish never knowing you, but the long thought im grateful, lucky enough just by knowing you a little, that's more than enough. couldn't ask for more.

can't reach you no more, can't see you no more, can't do nothing, i just can't.
imy.
fate has spoken and it is not me you're looking for, it is not me who you miss, it never was me you love and it is not me.....its just not me.

its always been you. its always been you. and will always stays that way.
years from now, i might forget you but im not going to forget how you made me feel.
i may mean nothing to you but you, so far has been part of my life.

and one thing for sure, why can't i love others the way i did to you?
others seems wrong in many ways, flawless, not right but you, you're just right. too right. maybe too much to be true.

you and i, that was a fairytale.
fairytale doesn't come true
and so does you and i.

p/s: imy. too much.

Lonesome lovely day

2010-03-12T11:02:00.002+08:00

Hello readers.
Good am. Currently me doing nothing, entertaining few customers.

I felt slightly different today. With voices chattering here and there, i still feel lonesome. There is something missing. Haven't figure it out, but there is definitely something...

Im not being cheerful, why? I should be or else that'll affect my work presentation. Nyehh. Talking about work, im tired. I love my current job but i haven't got a day off yet. 16 days and i haven't got a day off. Maybe thats what im missing, a lonnggg gooood rest.

Anyhoo, i gotta do what i gotta do. After all, i said yes to this work awhile ago. So yeah, work is a must now and say no to malas attitude.

The end.

Monday

2010-03-08T10:35:00.002+08:00

Hello readers.
Lovely monday today, ain't it? Hehe. I was at work as early as nine quarter. Top up some accesories, arranging items, this and that, i just love me job. (:

Me parent are out of town, more to out of brunei, they are on their way to miri. Drive home safe papi and mummy and bring me back a new contact lense, and food perhaps.

Today a few important people in me life are celebrating their days, happy birthday to dura and nurul! Have a blast and treat me someday (:

im totally overwhelmed by joy that i can't stop being thankful for today. Hoping everything will be okay today, not much chaos and just fine.

P/s: currently listening to songs, captured a few lyrics, 'after all thats been said and done, you're just a part of me i can't let go', love the song, love the lyric and sure love the melody.

The end

Truth and lie

2010-03-08T03:03:00.002+08:00

Who would ever thought the truth hurts? It does and thats one of the most important reason a lie was created, to make believe the truth wouldn't hurt and assuming lying is the only way and the best solution.

I myself prefer the truth than a lie. Even it hurts like hell, still it is a truth, rather than just being happy for the unreveal truth. That is also one of the reason im being paranoid knowing the truth, knowing that its not as blissful as the created lies but it can also be a lesson to realised somehow, someday we gotta deal with it.

I posted this post personally to ease out the pain that i've felt recently. The pain that i patch up with a plaster named 'truth'. I personally want to thank that person for cheering up my dull day, for being just the way he is. We barely knew each other but that individual is someone to me.

After a year and a half after the incident, the incident of 'my miracle said goodbye', i have no one to hold onto, i was searching and keep on searching and i had lust for god knows how many individuals. I was a complete mess.

Few months ago, you and i were there. A month and a half ago i had crush on you and today i found out the truth. You're something, you're the first person that im looking for in the morning and you totally can make me smile. Thank you so much. And now you say nothing, you didn't smile, you ignored my presence, thats also a thank you. Maybe that'll make me more easier chasing you away out of my mind.

For the things that i've been said and done and for the things that haven't occured yet, im sorry and thankful to you. Thank you woobie.

P/s: he almost patch up the hole in my chest, almost there, but for some reason i have to let it be...

The end (:

Mr.-i-dislike-you-now

2010-03-04T00:09:00.002+08:00

hello.
i hate him. well, more to disliking him..
pfft~ eeh sasak to the max ku tmptnya.

he refers to lelaki itu, who says no to my question. who didn't even say it in words, only a geleng2 kepala to me. wth!!! i mean, you think you're the 'oh my god he's the one'? nooo, you're very wrong. you're just a LUST. i repeat a LUST. its just a game, for fun. to fulfill my boring times and i fill that moment with you. so let see who's the pathetic one? me, who plays the game or you, the object of my game? the answer is you. arrogant, lousy, weird creature!! i dislike you and i don't want to see you in 24 hours time or i'll might do something. stuff you in the toilet maybe or poison your water bottle. heehh, too much to do but if i can, i will. with no hesitation at all. NOT AT ALL!

i dislike you starting hours ago and i will continue for a day, maybe more. so please, dont show up in less than 24 hours. please dont, or i might end up hating you.

pffttt~ guys are just troublesome. they're adorable like a puppy dog but once they bitten, it gives mark to you. yes, you bite me with your 'nda mauu lahhh' and this is what im going to say to you 'blllaaahhhh lahh you!!'

Hari ini dan...

2010-03-02T13:38:00.002+08:00

...hari-hari seterusny, blog saya akan dipenuhi dengan catatan mengenai woobie atau xing xing. I think the second nickname is more cuter, hehh.

What happened today so far? I said good morning to him and im not sure what he replied, cant hear him well. I was overwhelmed by joy, haha. Went to their workplace, photocopy my ic. His friend entertained me, he's busy with other customers. I was shocked, well almost laughed to the fact that they listened to ct's song. Seriously? I mean, the song came from the pc where he usually sits. Its loud enough for a quiet place, and him? A fan of ct? Hehe. Ct's oldies songs lagi tu, rugged. Haha, not!

So yah, didadidah~ just saw him tadi, wanted to say hy but i was on the phone talking to me boss, so just looked at him as he passed by and yeah, on my opinion he looks better with his serious face. Idk.

P/s: i miss you friends and im craving for mcD!

Fine monday

2010-03-01T13:18:00.002+08:00

Welcome March!
A new month to start with.

So far, everything's fine. No huge chaos happen yet, hopefully none, null, nada. I am currently sitting peacefully at my workplace. No customers, less sales, what more can i say? Its typical monday.

I get the chance to see woobie again. Hehe. But the embarrasing thing would be he knew that im asking for his number. Nyeh. Malu nya, tapi aku mahu. Haha. Bimbo! When he passed by our booth, im shocked, terrified, parkinson attack, haha. All of all, im being clumsy. Maybe its because 'clumsy cause im falling in love'. Nyeh, love? Naaahh, not yet.

P/s: ejah & dur, this is the story yg kan ku cerita. I was malu because woobie knew. What should i do? Give me advices.

Stalker.

2010-02-25T22:49:00.001+08:00

I was been stalked for err an hour today. Geez, some OLD FUGLY MAN follows me where ever i went today. Creepy much? I swear i'll never go to mall gadong alone again, except for work of course.

Except for the stalking thingy, i did something today. I talked to john doe! Haha. He was there and suddenly words coming out of my mouth, saying 'i work downstairs'. WAT THE HELL? Haha. Maybe he's thinking, 'au betanya ku..' but he just nodded and say 'ahh..'. The third times then he answered 'oh, iakah? Yg dbwh atu?'. Haha. He's cute even when 'c kawan' didnt think he's cute, but who cares.. Im the one who's liking him.

First day went well. Bond back with aunty and the kids. Looking forward for tomorrow (:

last day of freedom

2010-02-24T20:57:00.002+08:00

im all alone. only a toy soldier accompanies me.

haaahhh, after all, not that alone. cmah's with me. in me room. hehehe.

Nightmare.

2010-02-24T11:17:00.002+08:00

I just woke up. I had nightmare. I think i should post it in my blog, in case someday i forget about it.

Its bubuchacha's nightmare, i say. In my dream i was going out with kamu, my friends. We drop by a place, more like a cafe. Its a cozy place and i saw azmi eating biscuit while watching tv. Yadayadayada and there he was, me first love sitting down next to me. He doesn't say a word, but then he starts talking. His conversation includes 'i thought you're over me', 'i changed my number to 3g line, i texted you but you didn't reply'. In my dream i was saying nothing. Then comes my brother telling me to get more drink. Hehh. Idk where he come from, bt still it was a dream. Blablabla and i was busy looking for drink and i got a text message from his cousin saying they're going home. I run to my brother asking whereabout boo-boo and then i went outside. I saw their car and i remembered it clearly, in my dream i shouted 'please don't leave. I haven't said goodbye'. Im all cried out, regretting his leaving. I received text message from my brother, saying pull yourself together. And my dream faded and i woke up.

Isn't that tragic? Seeing me love ones leaving me behind in reality and in my dream too. Too bad. Pathetic. Hehh. God, i miss him right now.

P/s: the one thing about dreaming, you rule and make your own story. I should've change my dream to be better. Maybe next time. Hehe.

Happy birthday mopiko!

2010-02-21T17:52:00.002+08:00

The 31st birthday for my sister, chicco. Happy birthday! Selamat hari jadi mu.. Etc.

We're just celebrating it with a large pan pizza and honey chicken. Mummy insist to treat my sister again next time, a larger feast hopefully. And now we're off to buy birthday cake. Its been awhile though, im drooling for the sweetness of a cake. Nyehh.

Anyways i was thinking how can i save money? I keep on spending.. Im almost broke. Wtf! Work, i need work. Luckily i'll start working on the 24th. Ka ching ka ching!

Bye-bye.
The end.

Just cause...

2010-02-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

You're something. Not the ordinary ones, but the extraordinary. The charm, i say. The looks too, it count. I just don't know why.

When it comes to you, no one can beat you. No one, yet, can be in that same place. They're still in the minor place whilst you, you're the master in me heart. Foolish? Yes. Too much? Yes. What more can i do? You're just too lucky to be in that place, to be the only male human that i worship the most.

Stupid me for staying, but you, you're also stupid for leaving. It took me ages to realised you're the hy-bye person, one day you say hy and the next day you say bye-bye. When it comes to accepting facts, im a bit SLLOOWW, thats the reason.

The unrequited love, im the master. Im the female orsino.'if music be the food of love, play on'. Blablabla..

The end.

Starlight tears

2010-02-17T20:05:00.002+08:00

From the first time we met, I knew we would be friends

You had a different air than others that I knew

I am also alone in this world I’ve come to know

Finally, I’ve met someone like you
I know that I might’ve been a bit cold at times

But that was just the way I dealt with all my fears

You took the first step to show I don’t have to be alone

And now I, I know I love you
I will be waiting for you

Don’t care how long it may take

I will always be right here

When you need to laugh or cry
You let me knowWhen you are ready to love

And I will rush to your side

To sweep you into my arms
Maybe one day you’ll know the love that I’ve kept inside

I know love comes with pain; it’s so hard to erase

All that I’m asking is for you to let me stay here

Don’t be scared; you can lean on me
I know I’ve found the one when I look into your eyes

I will wait by your side till you can give me your heart

Valentine and chinese new year

2010-02-14T11:56:00.002+08:00

Hulloo.
Morning readers.
Happy valentine's day and gong xi fa chai. I celebrate none, so no greeting for me.

I remembered vividly the incident a year ago and the previous year, i was celebrating the joy of valentine, giving chocolates and CDs. Hehh. That was a loonnggg time ago. Today, i sit and only reminisce, pity me. Me heart tells me its okay, but someone spoilt my mood and idk, i just wanted to scream and yell.

It keeps tormenting me, knowing the fact..just don't tell me everything. I don't want to know nothing. Maybe i am the outsider and you're the 'insider' and thus you assume to be miss-i-know-everything-about-him. This really kills me. Why now? Why on this date? Why is everything you tell me is none other than cruel statement and fairytale love story? Why?

I started to lose in this game. Im losing, perhaps i'll be gone in a little while. I always fight for what i believe and right now, at this moment, im not quite sure is this the right thing or just a game that i've fond to.

Anyhow, im waiting for the 2 weeks off. Need a break, a new fresh start..

P/s: i just like you too much woobie that it annoys me to wait for you to say something, or at least smile. But, im not the first person you're smiling and talked to. Nyeh. Wth.

Bye-bye D. Have fun celebrating your days there.

Time will tell

2010-02-11T13:09:00.002+08:00

Readers, hello.
Devastated, i am. Frustrated, i am. But at the same time, quite relief and happy.

4 more days excluding today, i'll have 2 weeks off. This is due to some cleaning processes that'll be held after chinese new year. So yeah, goodbye woobie. The times when you come back to work, i'll be away. He's having a week off to celebrate his 'hari raya', thats what he told her. Nyeh. I'll come back on march but the thing is, im not sure whether i'll be working on the basement floor or the ground or 1st floor. Too many changes in too little time, im afraid i can't cope with it.

Anyhoo, the awesome thing would be IM FREE. Lets go out and have some fun!! 2 weeks people! Hehe.

P/s: the worst thing about liking a person would be: a) when he started to flirt with others. b) when he doesn't even know we are head over heels for him. And c) we tried to look away everytime he noticed that we're staring at him. Hehh.

Bye-bye

After all, im still alone

2010-02-07T18:18:00.003+08:00

Afternoon people.
Its been ages i didn't blog, quite busy with this and that. And now, still at work waiting the time to tick to 10pm.

Anyways the results are out. I don't do well. I don't meet the entry requirements for ubd, i was lack of 40 points. Im still wondering what should i do afterwards. Where can i further my study? Im so dissapointed and not satisfied enough, but yeah what past is past. There's no point regretting the past. So all i need is doa and tawakal.

I wanted so badly to be one of those people who graduate from ubd, really want to be a university student, really longing to learn more and study more. Hmm, its been ages i didn't feel that way for studying. God, please make my wish come true.

Now i know the feeling of being passion in studying. I feel unease almost all the time. Why? Why me? But hehh, this is life. Life is never easier. Thats what i learned recently.

Blablabla. The end. Haha.

P/s: i miss you people.

Thoughts, a deep one.

2010-02-03T00:58:00.002+08:00

Should i let this confession speak up for itself? I can't even say it in words but one thing for sure it does aches me heart.

Why is it most of my happy moments are taken away from me? I cannot bear this all alone. I thought i was strong when i said this 'tomorrow he's not my woobie anymore, he'll be your woobie'. I thought i was strong when i accept the fact that i've seen, but in the end my heart almost collapse to the true fact that is hard for me to accept.

I laughed to the fact that woobie ignored me. I made jokes of myself saying im a fool to like him. Deep down inside, i sympathise myself, that is because no one will do so. He? Or she? They'll be very much glad to see im not around, or even better if i quit.

Im not going to quit any sooner. I still need the job. If someone has to quit, it'll be he or she. If i quit, that definitely has nothing to do with the two freaking creatures.

P/s: from this i knew the definition of a friend and a colleague. Friend will try their best not to hurt friend's feeling but a colleague, they always trying to compete in any aspect. She, i never define her as a friend but as someone that used to be in one of my class.

The end.

A matter of MAYBE

2010-01-28T01:05:00.001+08:00

Maybe its not the right time yet.
Maybe i was not supposed to be out of love.
Maybe you're the one.
Just maybe everything retrain me from getting rid of you.
I never knew, its just a maybe.

At a certain point, i forgot about your presence in me heart. But at times, it felt wrong to let go. It felt wrong to be happy, though for a quick seconds. It just felt different to be different than i am.

The thoughts of you slowly faded and i begin to fill the emptiness with a new thought. You used to be the first thing that i remembered first thing in the morning. But now its his presence at work that im looking forward every now and then. Its his habit that im used to and its his changes that hurt me the way you did hurt me a while ago.

Call her your sister and call me a stranger, tease her too much and being polite with me, anything you do you're still the first thing that im looking for every morning.

P/s: give me an advice. How do u tell a person not to be denial? For her, no means yes and vice versa.

Woobie.

2010-01-26T00:18:00.002+08:00

He smile. He act normal. He goes to the toilet more than 5 minutes. He smoke every one hour. He never wear black jeans. He's not a good driver. He has a weird way of speaking malay language. He design wedding cards. He wore 2 rings. He's not good in calculating. He is... my newest interest.

What more can i say, i saw him everyday and yes, i like him. One different fact about him which makes him different from the other 'likes people', he is non-malay.

We talked, we smile and in fact my boss is his regular customer and that makes him more often visiting our booth, and also during aunty is not around. But thats our little secret. Aunty never knew that. Aunty doesn't even know his name when the fact that we knew, but we pretend not knowing it.

Anyways, my instinct told me not to trust that friend too much. I get annoyed today to the fact that she flirt with him. I can sense the flirting attitude and the words of 'no, im not married yet. Im still young' and i was like SO? He also have that look of 'yeah, right' but anyhoo she did help me to interact, as if i can't do that on my own. Hehh.

Anyways, thats how my day went today and for the past weeks. And im now immune with the workloads, the customers, the environment. In plain word, everything is just fine.

P/s: i miss kamu my friends. I can't have a day off this week, will be busy at icc, the consumer's affair.

The first letter

2010-01-19T14:16:00.003+08:00

Some might say its just a lust, some might say its love but who cares, i still categorized it under the 'like' thingy.

It starts with the first letter and ends with... Haha. Anyway, that person has a oh-my-god smile. That smile reminds me of something that has been lost quite a long time ago, bubuchacha's smile.

Haahh, come to think of it, I like him because he reminds me of bubuchacha. But actually i like him because of himself and not other.

P/s: im longing for an outing with you people!

I wish..

2010-01-15T11:09:00.002+08:00

I wish i can be more patience with these freaking annoying customers...
I wish i don't curse a lot..
I wish the customers knows the meaning of 'tngu skajap' instead of asking 'ane brapa? Ane brapa?'

Honestly, i had enough of people being pushy and disrespectful. Just now, for instance, i SIGH for the gods knows how many times.. Im all alone, trying to open up the shop but god damn it, at 10.01, a minute after ten, customers came rushing to buy this and that.. Im still packing, meaning the shop is not ready yet. The shop is still in mess, for godness sake!

Okay. Im done. Haah~ blogging makes me feel a lot better.

Hopeless, pfftt!

2010-01-11T23:49:00.003+08:00

Have you ever had a dream that never come true? Have you ever had wishes that never been fulfill?

I've set my interest on something but in the end, there goes my interest... It flew away, away, gone and gone. Probably thats how my 2010 begin and will end. To not dissapoint myself, i step aside the interest and put the major things as my first priority.

11 days in 2010, i still can't cope with it. The situation, the people, and all of my surrounding. I still feel unease and the only times i removed the unease feeling when im in 'my situation' and with 'my people'.

P/s: the new situation that'll happen is my niece won't be home as always. She will be send to a school.

And i...

2010-01-11T13:10:00.003+08:00

..am so hungry. I haven't eat lunch and i didn't take my breakfast this morning. All i had was a glass of milk.

Hehh, anyways im counting days for the new employee to work. Bila? When? Haah.. Most of the time aunty left the shop which means im all alone. Not much to do, im just sitting down waiting the hours to reach 9.30pm. Haha. Yesterday was okay, P1's with me and now all ALONE. All i did was daydreaming, counting the sales we've made and ntahhh. I envy those who sleep at 6am and wake up at 2pm or later than that. I used to be those people but now im the morning person. I woke up at 8am and sleep at 11pm. So not me at all. I seldomly go out and definitely less than 2 hours watching tv.

P/s: i like the new changes but i still long for the old ones.

New year, new interest

2010-01-08T21:13:00.002+08:00

2010 has started and last year, 2009 let it be history, memories, old things.

For the past 9 days in a new year i was struggling to find myself a new interest. I started to save money in my piggy bank, it didn't work out. I tried to cut out the junkfood and fastfood, also didn't work out.

But..now yes i have an interest. Haha. Say me a jerk but yes, he's one of my new interest. He refers to a guy who i've spoken to three times in three days. He's working upstair and his sister soon will work with me, hopefully.

I find him amusing ever since i first saw him. Today i saw him again and hehh, his smile, sungguh melegakan hati. Haha.

P/s: imma call him john doe the second.

All the love in the world

2010-01-06T15:12:00.002+08:00

Put love in everything you do, in return all the love in the world will be yours. And so, i put my love to my current job. :)

Today, nothing much happened. A bit pissed off towards the old chinese ladies this morning and a daughter and mother whose buying our tudong. I've been called 'si alai' and 'amoi' by these people. Haha. Bercali.

Our sales for today slows down..meaning less customers and boredom strike. Haaah~ im bored! I read the first page of 'to kill a mockingbird' but too lazy to continue.

P/s: pteb/ptem batch 08/09 are invited to the prom night which will be held on the 6th february, 7pm onwards. Spread the news people :)

p.p.s: i saw john doe yesterday. Thanks ass for bringing me there.

Random ones

2010-01-05T10:50:00.002+08:00

Hello readers.
Its been over a week i've experienced the workloads of an employee. All i can say is, it is challenging.

My routine is almost the same everyday, arrive at work before 10am. Open up the shop, entertain customers..a LOTS of different attitude i've encounter and yes, at one time i give up and cried. They're just too much with the bargaining, complaining, pushy, arrogant..i can list all the unpleasant attitudes they've shown, i better not. I never thought i'd cried for that matter. I was never going to tell aunty about it but she caught me crying.

Well anyway above all, i'd gain experience and of course ka ching.. Hehe. I'll try to cope with it..sooner or later i'll be immune with the workloads.

P/s: its 5 days after but still happy new year!

What say you?

2009-12-30T02:07:00.002+08:00

'when i love you a little less than before', i quoted as in broken string lyrics.

Who would ever thought that one day your chosen one become the random one? That day has come to me. I still love him but i seldom miss him lately.

Next year, if i want to, i can see him in a week since there is a wedding function will be held there and he must be there. But i chose not to be there with an excuse of im working and won't be around. I can have a day off but i don't want it to be on that day. Am i changing? Does this heart has found a new one?

At first thought i think it is john doe. But it turns out, NO he's not. He just happens to be there in the moment of im trying to fixed and sort out my feeling. Perhaps it is just my own self saying 'i had enough'.

2010, a new year will soon come. Who says love comes only between men and women? I love my niece more than anything. I hugged and kissed her whenever she's around and i miss her now. She have her vacation. I like it when she's sulking and angry. She even shouted at me.

P/s: 2010, i guess i should find a new interest. Books maybe? Or anything.. Will figure that out soon.

Employee

2009-12-29T23:54:00.001+08:00

Today, its my first day ever being an employee. After 18years and 6 months, i finally knows how tired it is to earn ka ching.

My first day as a salesperson in hua ho mall was great. It is of course, tiring but i gained something; an experience. I went to work as early as 9.30am, and in fact im the first one to be there, boss and the other peejah came 10-15 minutes later.

As a new employee, i tried to be novice and humble as i could because peejah told me the last employee is patronizing and miss i-know-everything which made boss hmm, dislike her. But idunknow how i performed today, i've done my very best. I said 'thank you' hundreds times and i tried to remembered the price for each item. For the tudung i can't remember the price for different patterns and i still can't differentiate the types. There are maharani, thai silk, lycra..and etc. Hehe.

Nobody master everything in a day, so my second day perhaps will be much better than today. Aunty(boss) teaches me this and that, she also told me not to be afraid of making mistakes. She and her daughter are a very warm person. Aunty is always busy so she give us the responsibility to take care of the sales items. We even got a nicknames, myself;P2 and peejah;P1. She gave us the nickname so we won't be confuse.

I felt tired but i think its worth it. Seeing happy bruneians spending their bonus, ka ching ka ching! But hehh.. also i learn a thing, if you're about to buy items in a shop please be reconsiderate. Don't be pushy and arrogant. I've found that type of people today. Omg, luckily i don't get pissed off. I just go with the flow, smile and paying attention.

P/s: if you readers miss me, just go to hua ho mall..i am working there at the expo on basement floor. Haha. I am so grounded there for 12 hours.

Cousins day out.

2009-12-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hello readers.
Im counting days to 2010 which is less than a week. Happy advance new year!

Im at nurul's house, having sleepover for a night. We went shopping, movies, and lots of activities today. First stop, went to excapade for lunch. Haah~ the food was awesome! Then movies, alvin and the chipmunks. That was the second time i've watched it. Didadidaah~ hotpoint, shopping then last stop, mangrove resort. Well, the best part is, siti treat me. I even bought a pair of open toe shoes, a tshirt and a bracelet with a total amount of approximately $50.

Today's activities put a smile in me face. I even met John who? John Doe. He literally wave and smile. ^_^

p/s: imissyou people

Bedtime story

2009-12-26T01:15:00.002+08:00

Once there is a girl who believes in fairytales, heaven, demons and evil spirits, miracles and for most Love. She's been educate with a saying 'happy ending will always ends every story'.

As she grow up she learned the meaning of friendship, betrayal, gaining and losing and also the taste of love, the one feeling she's been curious about. As a kid who was naive, she always ends up being hurt either by friends or the loved ones.

She began to question the meaning of happy ending. She wonder if she would ever be like one of the characters in the book whom experience happily ever after life. She seek for it in her friends, but unfortunately friendship doesn't promise a happy ending. With a bunch of friends, she always felt left out. They seem to move forward leaving her behind. In that time, she tries to keep distance from them with a hope of it'll hurt less if they'll actually leave someday.

With a bit of hope, she doesn't give up searching for her happy ending. Family is her priority but her family is not passionate in showing their love. She's been curious for all these years, 'do they love me?' or 'do they love me because they have to?'.

While in her love life, she always ends up being melancholy and in grief. She began to make believe that someone have to suffer in order for others to be happy. But why does she have to be that someone?

Up until these days, she haven't found her place where she feels almost at ease. Nowhere to go, she haven't got her happy ending yet. Thus her story, mine, is not end yet.

P/s: if you read this post, the next thing to do is sleep. ^_^

Getting out of the mess

2009-12-25T14:43:00.002+08:00

When someone in your household get upset and start making havoc, what you gotta do is keep distance from them. In a plain simple word: RUN!

Follow this and you'll find out there is nothing that can bother you in your friday afternoon. This is what im doing with my sister, hehe. We were planning to catch a movie but then we cancel. My brother is making havoc downstair, slamming door repeatedly plus mummy and papi getting involved: papi scold me brother, mummy with her high pitch tone talking about 'her unbothered sickness', thats when me sister and i said 'lakastah jalan. Kemana saja.' haha. We are about to getting out of the mess.

And now, half an hour later no chattering voices at all, just the sound of mummy's coughing, cooking sound and my aircond sound. The mess had end.

I am currently waiting for my sister then we'll off to nowhere. Haah..crazy thought but great somehow. I showered just now and papi became curious everytime he saw me bringing towel and asked me 'kn kemana lgy ne?' and plainly i answered 'ahh?' hehe.

Just so you know, family has always crisis but mine? It never crisis, it is call 'the everyday routine' yet we still stand up as one family.

Mr. Teaser

2009-12-25T00:02:00.003+08:00

Hulloo.
Do excuse me readers, im still with the same topic as the previous post, JOHN DOE.

Haaah~ for the love of God, this doesn't feel like falling in love. Its more to obsession, hehe. Yeah, obsession is the correct term for the situation right now.

Why does people said 'falling in love'? As far as i concerned, 'fall' causes hurt, deep cut or just anything that are unpleasant. For me, this is not falling, its flying. Flying where the wind breeze touches your skin, you feel just right, neither sad nor happy. The feeling of superiority, insanity, way out of the boundaries..its just too much but you swallow all of the feeling pleasantly, calmly and in my case clumsy, stammering and definitely way out of my mind.

2 thumbs up, i wonder what does that mean? Teasing smile, what it means?

P/s: John Doe the teaser is on my list. Good god, i'll spend hundreds if that means i can see you more often. ^_^

John who?

2009-12-22T23:44:00.003+08:00

Its JOHN DOE.

How does it feel to have crush on a complete stranger?
Not knowing the name, the age, the background.
The only thing we know is that person have catches your mind, your attention, your focus.

While a long ago you declare that nobody have that same magic anymore, the 'magic' that makes you smile for no reason, from sane to insane, from a calm breathing to heart thumping so fast that you can hardly breath, from ordinary to extraordinary. That 'magic' hypnotized.

Eyes to eyes, skin to skin..thats when i realised, that magic works on me.

John Doe, im so much having crush on you ^_^

Picnic

2009-12-20T15:02:00.001+08:00

Im currently lying and relaxing in the camp. This feels so gooodd.

Me and the family are at muara's beach, santai2, barbeque..beriadah. Just now nurul's family was here but they went home early and now just us. All of us are lying either on the tikar with umbrella to cover from heat whilst me, on the camp.

This is stress-free activity. I felt very calm, bliss maybe except for the sun heat.

P/s: my skin is not tanned but turns to DARK.

Abracadabra~

2009-12-20T00:21:00.001+08:00

Ireoda michyeo naega yeoriyeori chakhadeon
Geureon naega neottaemune dora naega dokhan naro byeonhae naega
Neol darmeun inhyeongeda jumuneul tto georeo naega
Geunyeowa jjijeojyeo dallago-go
Every night I'll be with you
Do you love her? do you love her?
Maeil naui kkum soge
Do you love me? do you love me?

Bring bring neoreul naege gajyeoda jwo
Mworado nan hagesseo deohan geotdo hagesseo
Bring bring doneun naui fantasy yeah
Modeungeol geolgesseo neol naega naega gatgesseo

Motchama deoneun naega ireoda jeongsineul nochyeo naega
Dodaeche wae neoran aega naemaeume bakhyeo niga
Jjitgyeojin sajineda jumuneul tto georeo naega
Geunyeoga tteoreojyeo dallago-go

Every night I'll be with you
Do you love her? do you love her?
Maeil naui kkum soge
Do you love me? do you love me?

Bring bring neoreul naege gajyeoda jwo
Mworado nan hagesseo deohan geotdo hagesseo
Bring bring doneun naui fantasy yeah
Modeungeol geolgesseo neol naega naega gatgesseo

Im in the Voodoo Land~ neol doechatgi wihan plan
Maeilgachi ireoke nanullae neol hyanghan majimak step
Geunyeoui soneul japgo geunyeowa ibeul matchugo
Geureon neoreul sangsangjocha hagi sirheo I jumune yeomwoneul sireo

Rallallallallalla rallallalla
Rallallallallalla rallallalla
Rallallalla rallallalla
Abracadabra da irwojyeora

Lets go!
Uh uhuhuh! ha hahaha!
Nege jumuneul georeo bwa
I'm like a supervisor
Neol tongjehaneun kaiser
Naegeseo beoseonal su eobseo

Bring bring neoreul naege gajyeoda jwo
Mworado nan hagesseo deohan geotdo hagesseo
Bring bring doneun naui fantasy yeah
Modeungeol geolgesseo neol naega naega gatgesseo

Ireoda michyeo naega yeoriyeori chakhadeon geureon naega
Neottaemune dora naega dokhan naro byeonhae naega
Coolhancheok haneun naega nollawo da ireon naega
Anincheok neol mannareo gado-do

p/s: i don't know the meaning but still its awesome song :)

Halooooo

2009-12-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

November nineteen

2009-12-19T22:38:00.007+08:00

Random.
I just can't stop typing. Hehe and thus another post. Tadaa~ lame.

Im reading the text in my cbox, who is fat-ass? Hehe. I've read it all, imy people. We need to meet asap. Anywhere, as long as all of us gather. Im pretty broke to have an expensive hangout but that can be handle as long as i meet kamu.

Oh anyway secret recipe has open! OMG, i figured that out last thursday. My cousins had their dinner there. Im so jealous but hehh she promise to bring me there sometimes.

What else..hmmm, oh ya, i treat mummy and papi today. We ate indian cuisine. There were dosai, chappati, papadom and just some food. I can't remember that much because the food is not that tasty, just so-so.

P/s: lot of things i want to blog about but hmm, laziness stops me.

P.p.s: do you know what nasal means? Its sengau in malay. I just figured that out few minutes ago, from a malay tv drama.

Okay. Thats enough. Adieu. And people, lets hangout nextweek! Im free everyone, no plan yet. Laju laju play uno. Hehe.

Windstruck

2009-12-19T21:49:00.002+08:00

Im home.
I just got back from me cousin's house. I had 2 days sleepover there.

I spent my hours there with watching korean tv series, anything to do with korean. Hehe. I recommend you readers to watch 'adacadabra' music video, the dirty eyed girls instead of the original group, the brown eyed girls. It was HILARIOUS! the pink jacket man, he is awesome. I love love him.

Oh by the way, i am broke, seriously. I spent ka ching here and there. Haah~ but anyhoo i enjoyed spending it.

P/s: countdown to new year! Less than a month baybee!

1711

2009-12-17T14:04:00.005+08:00

Hello readers.
Good PM.

I've no idea on what topic i will write, but i have the urge to type. So i'll just type whatever pops in me mind. Hehe.

Im going out later, will watch movie. Maybe today will be the last day im going out. I need to stay home a little longer, except for this sunday which we'll have our picnic to celebrate both parent's birthday.

P/s: im so sleepy.

Random

2009-12-17T00:59:00.001+08:00

I never thought life would be so much fun with a bunch of friends like kamu. Hehe. Imisskamu. When are we having our day again? With those laughters, stories to be share, gossips and sarcasm.. Those things, bila lagi?

Anyway its almost 1. Im still awake. I need to get up early tomorrow, sure i will not have enough sleep by tomorrow. I need to do some laundry too and hmm, lets just say more work. I had my massage today and it was so relaxing. I treat my sister today for tea-time and dinner. I've been out for two days in a row and so far, i had fun!

I read this book and i've learned this: its not always The One, there's always The Two, The Three and so on. :)

p/s: wanting to play truth or dare, very much.

Happy sunday and happy birthday

2009-12-13T13:06:00.002+08:00

A great sunday today.
I woke up at 11 today and we're now off to celebrate papi's.

First stop we went to yayasan just now, mummy bought gifts for papi, a watch and a perfume set. Mummy spent $150++ for the gifts and now lunch time at wecan. Hehh, i chose wecan because i got some plan. I think im going to buy cake for mummy and papi, hope it'll success.

Oh and also, i would like to wish me friend, cmah, happy birthday darl! Hehe. Aku sayang kau. Have a blast in your birthday!

P/s: imissyou people.

Friday the eleventh

2009-12-11T18:09:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.

Its been few days since i blog, hehh i miss you blog. Oh anyway im now at aminah arif, having an early dinner. Gosh, im so hungry. I haven't eat anything yet except for tumpi and a mouthful bite of pulut panggang.

So anyway today is the first time after few days i've been out of the house, finally! We went to supa save just now and i bought new brand of shampoo, smell nice though, strawberry flavour.

Oh i have to go. The food is here. The aroma attracts me attention, and im damn hungry.

Later~ adieu.

Oh my, oh my, oh my!

2009-12-09T18:31:00.002+08:00

Finally, i've activated my rajin mode today!i woke up at 7-ish today, SUPRISINGLY!

I've decided to do home chores for today and i've done it. Two thumbs up for me self. Im left with folding my clothes, thats all. I've done the vacuuming, washing clothes, changing bedsheet and all the sorts of home chores. Im happy with my fresh new look room.

Oh anyway, the one thing that leads me to the rajiness is boredom. I cannot handle boredom, when im bored i tend to make my day busy and its worth it! Papi said i can't go out, so i sit home. Im daddy's daughter, yeah right..

I have one interest now, i like to play sudoku. I have one book containing sudoku games, nyeh which is not mine. Haha.

Dear friends, i have one wish: we should have a sleepover or at least spent hours in one house. Eat snacks, order fastfood, play truth or dare and twister. That would be fun? So what do you say?

Melancholy, am i?

2009-12-06T22:25:00.002+08:00

I have a question: how do we know if we're not happy? So much sadness that even there's not enough tears to withdraw the sadness. Too much pain, it ache your heart.

People express their feeling by laughing and crying, i wonder is that the only way? Is there any other options?

I laughed too much but i hardly cry nowadays. For me, crying is not a sign of weaknesses. It may means happiness, sadness and any other feelings that involved. When i cried, i get a nice sleep. Crying on one day, the next day will be absolutely refreshing. That is of course on my own opinion.

A person that can stabilize between happiness and sadness is a great person. I can't do that and thus im less than greatness. Hehh.

Adios. Adieu. Bye-bye.

Sunday..

2009-12-06T14:43:00.002+08:00

Hello. Sunny day.
Im on my way to me cousin's house.

I woke up at 10 today, haah~ i dont have enough sleep. Just went to panggilan then off to papi's brother's house and then to usu ani's. Now to ampi's. Long journey, i say.

Oh by the way i saw aril, akim and heliza just now at de' rimba. They look cute.

Oh well. Im off. Bye-bye.

Ki-up.

2009-12-05T03:43:00.002+08:00

Morning. Im still up, can't sleep.

Do you know what ki-up means? In taekwondo terms, it means shouting. It usually done at the very end of patterns. I can't sleep and i keep thinking variety things. Taekwondo pops in my mind and i realised i miss to learn taekwondo. I should practise again since i knew several places where taekwondo was held.

Back in two years ago, i've done my first grading. I've upgraded to yellow belt. Those days, i remembered it vividly, those are the days i've studied hard and have goal to pass my grading. Two reasons for that, one was having crush on my senior in taekwondo and one would be due to passion to learn it. I still got the passion in taekwondo but i've stopped due to some circumstances, the place for taekwondo lesson mostly occupied by kids. Im kinda uncomfortable with that. Mostly people in my age are in green, blue, red and black belts. Hmm, im way behind. Plus, stretching, im very bad at that. I'll be out of breath when i do some stretching.

But now, after i read some articles by a taekwondo student, i regain back that old passion i had. One thing i like about taekwondo, it makes me focus and serious.

I've loved taekwondo since i was 13 or earlier than that. I've always wanted to wear the black belt. Someday, i will. Taekwondo is about discipline and i know that because of the times i've learned it; learn more, archieve more. Respect seniors and bow before practising.

P/s: i think im going to continue my taekwondo lesson at menglait or mabohai. Who wanna join?

Soulmate.

2009-12-03T21:40:00.002+08:00

Hello readers, bloggers, anonymous..

I just finished watching boys over flower, and it was awesome. Awesomeness. Thanks gmah for lending me the dvd. Unfortunately i like Jihu better than Junpyo. The series was unpredictable and i managed to watched it in 4 days. Hehe, i've watched too much tv screen. Im addicted. And fyi, i cried watching it but just once. The episode where Jandi danced with Jihu, she thought him as 'gift from heaven' and her 'soul mate'. The minute she said that, i cried my eyes out. Hmm, that was very touchy. I rewind it twice and god, i like that part!

Anyways, enough about the korean series. Back to reality, we had lunch tadi and that was fun. Kuliq restaurant was so nyaman and its thai food. I ate kapraw chicken and its was hot! After lunch, we did some groceries shopping. Sya's with me and the parent. I have to carry her and mummy said i looked like 'ibu-ibu'. Nyeh. Am i? But some ibu-ibu looked at me carrying sya, and i can see they label me as young parent? Huhu. So i put sya in the trolley. That ease my backpain so much.

So, anyway thats for today. What a day! And now i was thinking have i found my soul mate yet? If i does, i've lost him. But if i don't, i still have the chance to seek for one.

Happy birthday

2009-12-03T11:42:00.001+08:00

Happy 56th birthday to mummy =)
Selamat hari jadi!

We're going to have lunch today at kuliq so right now, im waiting for me parent to get ready. I was all set up and them? Still chit chatting, still on their towel..the rest, same. Not ready yet. C-cin still playing his psp games, downstair sya's sleeping..nyeh. C'mon! Im hungry.

My sister, i think she's there already. She told us to be there by lunchtime. Since its her treat, so she booked the place already, i think.

Im off. And oh yes, happy december!

Last day of november

2009-11-30T22:51:00.001+08:00

This is the last day in november. Tomorrow will be a new month and a new day. I wonder what will happen tomorrow.

I wish for good things to happen. Mummy will be 56 years old in 4 days. Papi will be 60 years old in 14 days. Happy advance birthday to mummy and papi. Also cmah and gmah, i hope im the first person to say this: HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY! Hehe. Aku sayang kamu.

December is just in a few hours time. Then 2010 approaches. Time goes by. Fly, away and away. Time can never be stop and so does age. Next year i will be 19. In that case, i'll make sure i fulfill these: got my license, lose weights at least few kgs, got a new man/guy/creatures, haah~ nope. Not necessary. And idk..i'll think of something next time.

Till then. Adieu. Will blog in december. Cherish our last month in 2009 with laughable memories, joyful moments and quality times with friends.

P/s: because this is the last post for november, let me say this: imissyou wafie haris. Hehehe.

Hunting for employment

2009-11-30T22:28:00.001+08:00

Hello readers.
Good PM! I just got back home, back from hunting for work. Haha. But just now was awesome, with suriram, xiao and things to laughed at.

Anyways, im so wanting to work at best eastern. My first priority, that is. The second would be hmm..idk. Guardian maybe? Or any bookstore most preferable booker and anythng to do with novels bookstore. And oh yeah, that Mum's advertising seems okay too.

But anyhoo..i still enjoyed today. Looking forward for more upcoming outing.

P/s: 'yet im not the social type' oh YA? FYI, filling in the info column with LOTS OF INFORMATION shows you're heeh..emm, fork lense. Haha. Agree people?

Home sweet home

2009-11-29T16:06:00.003+08:00

Im home. Im back.
I just got back last night.
Fuhh~ yesterday was tiring! Our vacation turns out to be tiring ever.

Let me review what happened in miri: we stayed at grand palace, for the first time ever i had to sleep on the floor with a thin lining sheet and blanket. Huhu. Next time, i'll make sure one bed for me.

Anyways, we did some shopping. I bought few items and thanks to mummy, she bought me an aussino bed sheet. I think i spent my money on food. Drank ice blended, ate at marrybrown, dessert at mcD..i've consumed many food and we were so full and didn't manage to eat at secret recipe. Haish~ maybe next time.

And now home. I want to meet you people! I so miss kamu, but im so broke. Im left with a dollar in my wallet. Gila! I want swimming, bowling, watch new moon! For godness sake, i haven't watch new moon. Im tied up at home. Im still tired. Room is mess! Clothes are everywhere.

Blablabla. Bye-bye

Mystic

2009-11-26T22:50:00.001+08:00

Again me.
I just finished watching horror malay series; nenek kebaya and jangan tegur lagi.

The devil was kinda creepy and for some reason i decided to sleep at mummy's. Hehe. Mummy and papi are already dozed off but me, still watching tv and eating nestum. Im still hungry though, wonder what i will eat next.

Oh, do miss me. I'll be away for few days.. We're having vacation and its sya's 1st time out of the country.

Im off. Will blog next time.

Adieu~

What a day.

2009-11-26T19:54:00.002+08:00

Hello readers.
Good evening.

Today was the last day of school and i went to school. There was carnival here and there. We, me and dee ass spent almost an hour at the pet exhibition. I held a snake. Hehe. After school, went lunch. Then to empire. We took many pictures. Don't forget to tagged me ass!

Oh one more important event today, i drive! I drove along tungku beach. Haha. Thanks to my teacher. She gave me 7/10. Not bad huh? Haha. Thank you buajah a.k.a teacher ass.

And now home. I watched malay series with both parent. Haven't done that in awhile. Next will go to sleep, i think. Im so freaking tired.

Im going to miri tomorrow. Maybe stay there for a night. Hopefully we manage to get a hotel room. Hmm, im in need of new items. Miri, here we come!

P/s: im broke yet im happy.

None. Nothing. Null.

2009-11-24T21:15:00.002+08:00

If everyday is like this, i might end up being a lunatic.
This is my everyday's routine: wake up no less than 12pm or when im lucky it'll be at 11-ish. Washed up and then eat. Watching dvds or babysit sya. I had fun today. I tried another alternative, built a home kbox in our living room. I totally sang out loud and even dance to it. In my case i don't call it a dance, its just some boredom-release-action. But most of the time, i'll spent hours with watching dvds, eat ofcourse and watched anything on astro.

Isn't that obviously not productive days? I wanted to wake up early. Do home chores, my room is a mess with A LOTS OF UNWASHED CLOTHES, dust everywhere and more unwanted things.

Seriously, i need a change. I need activities. Home chores is one activity, what else? Im not going to live like this for the next what? 5 or 6 months?

I looked around my room and this what pops in me mind: 'a lot of things need to be out of here. Change this and that. That and this'

im going to sleep. Nighty-night.

Sya ; me niece

2009-11-23T16:09:00.002+08:00

Babysitting sya is fun + tiring + annoying. She can be the most annoying little person and when that happens she would probably got a spank, a soft one though by me, heeh.

She wake me up this morning at 9-ish and im so reluctant to wake up. Sleep late last night. I continue my sleep at 11-ish and now continue babysitting her. Its just me and mummy, and idon'tknow where the heck is marlene.

Luckily sya is not that naughty now, she's watching her tv programme, little einstein. She clapped, nod and say no. Hehe. She understand the language, which is good.

Later. Adieu.

Sunday

2009-11-22T13:20:00.001+08:00

Hello readers.
What a lovely sunday.
I just woke up half an hour ago, heeh. And fyi, that b*t*h woke me up. Thank you!

Why woke me up by his message of 'bila bowling?' haha. For sure not today. Im tired like hell. And i miss to stay home. Since last thursday, i've been outside the house wandering for hours to here and there. So maybe now a few days i should stays home.

Mummy and papi is out, kinda pissed off with that. They never told me no more where they're going. Maybe they're dining out and me? I have an empty stomach. Im hungry. Oh well, i just eat whatever food items in the kitchen.

Im off. Will update later. And THANKS to ejah for kelmarin 'uh' hahaha.

A bit of yesterday

2009-11-21T17:18:00.002+08:00

Im being sentimental. I miss someone. Maybe he's too far out there for me to reach, but still he's close in me heart.

The wound has heal. Yes it does. I never thought it would heal. Talking about him, the old times, i can cope with it already. Im not that sad no more.

I prefer to hold back, never tell him nothing no more. Whats the point of telling something to someone that never turns around? So yeah, i keep it to myself and to you, readers. When it comes to unrequited love, i could be the queen. Haah, melancholic, self-involvement, thats me! Its always me.

I wonder, few years from now.. Looking back to today, i might say 'thats me. Thats the pathetic old times story' i know i will say those things.

P/s: tell the person you love, 'iloveyou' He/she will know how lucky they are and in return they will say it too. If you're in my shoes, you'll know how precious those words. Don't take those word for granted. When he/she stop saying it, stop paying attention, stop everything. Thats when it hit you, you've lost him/her. Not to be able to love and get love in return, not to be able to say 'god, imissyou', not to be able to do nothing. You're here and that one person is there.

A wound in me heart heal but tears burst. I just miss him too much. Stupid.

Its OVER

2009-11-19T11:41:00.001+08:00

Burden no more.
Im free. No more exams. The last was this morning, literature 6.

But unfortunately, the cute invigilator wasn't there this morning. Huu.. Im so gonna miss you. Haha. Exaggerated but yeah, he is cute. No doubt about that.

Im looking forward for tomorrow to meet you, babies! Haha. Aku miss kamu.

Okay okay. Im off. Im on my way to gadong, in my school attire AGAIN. heck! Who cares.

ohh, melancholy

2009-11-17T21:08:00.001+08:00

You're with me
Til the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too painful to
Talk about
So I'll hold it in
Til my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
When I remember

Glittering lights
Incandescent eyes
Still preserved
In my mind
In the memories I'll find solace

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
And I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
And I'll remember

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Never too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
And though we can never be
I'll think of you and me
Always remember

Love

You're never too far

Brown eyes

2009-11-17T21:06:00.000+08:00

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
You stepped to me and then you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about
Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
we had butterflies although we tried to hide
and we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand,
the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one
ohhhhhh,

I know that he loves me cause told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause its me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
Remember the first day we had an argument
we apologized and then we compromised
and we've haven't argued since
Remember the first day we stopped playing games
Remember the first day you fell in love with me
it felt so good for you to say those words
cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each other's hands,
the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to fall in love
and I knew right there and then that you were the one

I know that he loves cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so

I'm so happy, so happy that your in my my life
and baby now that your apart of me
you've showed me
showed me the true meaning of love(the true meaning of love)
and I know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell it so

Bla bla bla!

2009-11-09T19:17:00.002+08:00

I have headache.
Why in earth i have no mood to revise geography? This sucks!

Tell me what should i do?? I've started my revision from 4pm and up to now, i got nothing! Not a bloody information stuck in my brain. Wtf! I mean, seriously! This is a pain in the arse!

Excuse me for the swearing. And the noise? I can't stand the noise. Can these people hush or do things quietly? With my brothers talking, slamming doors, sya's annoying toys. God! This is too much. And just now, mummy asked me 'mana syakirah?' and the only thing i can say is 'ahh?'. okay. Well, she's downstair and my room is upstair. This headache too is driving me insane. I never had this pain so im not used to it.

How can i not love geography as much as lit? Im fond to lit. Its hard, but still i managed to revise it calmly. Geography? Idunfreakingknow.

I need food. I should go eat. Bye bye.

And again..

2009-11-08T23:31:00.005+08:00

Again me.
I am freaking bored.
What to do huh? I've watched most of the dvds that i had and hmm, its boring watching the same thing twice or three times.

Guess what, im happy to know this fact. I just figured it out. I found out that i begin to care about zandria. Funny thoughts yet true. Something's happening to him which idk what it is. I go online just now and texted with a person and i realised this 'ohmygod. You're lame.' zandria is never that lame. He always came up with good stuff and in fact, he's one of my favourite person to talk to. He and his korean fantasy, i don't care much but sometimes its interesting and im looking forward for a new info from him. Its amazing how a stranger can made great impacts in you. He, i have to admit can change my perspective from men are so good in sweet talking to men not only came with sweet talking, but knowledge how it can be sweet. Good person, he is. A decent one. Sometimes can be full of himself. No kiddy ideas.

I should stop this or else i might end up falling for him which idunwant. Liking is the limit, love? No no.

Speak up your mind.

2009-11-08T22:45:00.002+08:00

Hello and evening.
Such a long time i didn't update.

Me, in just a few hours will cramp my brain with revision. Geography, be easy on me. The two times before, i got a U for geo, well atleast now gonna boost up those U to a better grade. Perhaps a C or D. Insyallah. In addition, on the same day of geography i have my literature paper 4. Lit, also be easy on me!

Anyways that is not the reason i blog, got something in me mind, head whatever. Its eager to be speak out loud. Well, here's the hint. Why do we have to make nonsense conclusion? Why, i emphasized SOME PEOPLE have to make-believe of some sort of unexplain behaviour? Do not be shallow. Be a person that can came up with answers of why, what and how? Do not simply judge. Don't be judgemental.

I've raise this issue due to some things that happened and heard of. So, yeah im just sharing a thought. Im not hurt, not blaming nobody..im just sharing.

I might say, if you can't cope with this do it your own way. Everyone have their own choice. Well choose then. And one thing, being expressive is not a crime.

Clear enough? Hehe. Oh anyway i've got this one sentence. One of the blogger used it: 'when we don't laughed for the same thing anymore, thats when it hit me'. Huhu. A strong word expression. I wish it never happen to us.

Adieu. Got 6 papers left! Go go go. Hehe.

AWAY.

2009-11-02T16:35:00.005+08:00

This is what im going to do:
i'll stay away from labtop.
i have 7 more papers waiting so STUDY is A MUST!

Till then.

November has approaches

2009-11-02T00:30:00.001+08:00

Hello. A very good am.
Im tired, very much.
Today was okay. The function went well.

I've tried both the bouncer. The slide bouncer, just slide for 4 times. Nyeh. When i was in the bouncer, i hesitated to slide. Im afraid of heights and idunno im just too afraid tadi. I imagined the times when i played the 'giant drop' haha. My sister-in-law, her cousin and sister keep pushing me to slide. But anyways i still managed to slide down 4 times. Now the bouncer's gone. They've packed it, will be return back by tomorrow.

I would also like to thank you people for showing up. Hehe. Appreciate it and thanks for the presents. But deezah ass, you still owe me a teddy. Haha.

Im off people. Adieu.

Halloween

2009-10-31T23:36:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.
Goodnight.
Its halloween, happy halloween.

I've shared the excitement and the creepy situation of halloween by watching a thriller movie titled 'halloween'. A good movie though. Inda membazir an hour plus of my time. Hee.

Oh anyway the bouncer is here. Hehe. Not yet pasang, haha i am so excited! I told my brother we should play it first thing in the morning. He agreed and we'll see how it goes. Just hoping that i'll wake up early tomorrow. For few days i've been waking up at noon. I usually sleep at 3 or 4 am but today maybe a little earlier. I should sleep early then wake up early. Mummy told me to bangun awal, nyeh nyeh. I don't want to do work. Tomorrow there'll be 2 maids + we ordered catering food. What more to do kann?

Thats it for today, i guess. See kamu2 tomorrow. Please show up =) hehe.

breath. everyone should breath.

2009-10-29T16:20:00.002+08:00

I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

p/s: awesome lyric. breath by taylor swift

rainy. babysitting.

2009-10-29T16:09:00.002+08:00

hello readers.
a very good afternoon.

i am babysitting sya but hee i sneaked out from the room without her notice. she's watching Little Einstein and i keep the volume high so that she would focus on the tv instead of me. i am all alone with sya. mummy and papi are out, to pay some bills and i dunno, some stuff. the others are still at workplace and maybe in less than an hour one of them will be back.

im so excited today, we're going out tonight, except for most of you people =( it will be just me, deezah and shy. but anyways i need to go out. well, i did go out but only with my parents so tonight im looking forward to have at least some fun. hehe.

i don't know what else to post, so itu sahaja. bye bye.

Invitation.

2009-10-28T15:25:00.005+08:00

Date: 1st November 2009 (Sunday)

Venue: #12 Spg 188-20 Kg. Perpindahan Mentiri, Jln Kota Batu, NBD.

Time: 2pm onwards.

Theme: BLUE. if you want to play bouncer, please bring extra clothes. TQ.

Function: Nur Ameerah Syakirah's 1 year old birthday celebration.

one last thing, presents will be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED ( inda memajal, klu nada pun nda papa ). my niece is a girl and so she likes anything to do with SOUNDS, VARIETY COLOURS, TEDDY. anything will do =)

Life. Love. Lame. haha.

2009-10-28T14:55:00.004+08:00

hey readers, this post will be slightly different from the other posts. lets just say i wanted to practice my writing in english by doing this. just read the post aite? hmm. bismillah. actually i have no idea what im writing about, so im just gonna go with the flow. anything that pops in me mind. oh yeah, for the past few days i've been thinking, why and why this thing keep occur in life ; loss and gain. you gain experience, you lost friends, lover, anyone. you get a new replacement. blablabla. you know that kind of thing. why can't we just stick to one rule. if you loss, you gain nothing. in that case, we're afraid to lost to the things that we never thought would be important to us. if we loss and gain nothing, don't you think we're more aware. if losing could make more gaining then who would mind to loss some things. do you get what i mean by this?

have you ever seen movies or in real life you threw or disengage yourself with a person, things or any creatures meaning you leave the 'things' behind. its like moving on to another level or forgetting the past. do we have to leave the past behind just to move forward? do we have to leave a friend behind just to befriended with a new ones? if you asked me, my answer would be NO. i still kept my past. i still remembered it once in awhile. for me, why should i leave my past mistakes? in my opinion the past prepare us for the future. maybe sometimes im too obsessed with the future that i may not look behind. its good to look ahead but sometimes just think what the past has made you. its not the mistakes that you remembered, its the lesson from the past.

a friend once told me, friend is just a part of our life not the whole part of it and in addition he said, there's more you can find in the journey of life. i believe in his saying and he also mentioned losing and gaining is just some part of life. so, if one day you lose do not freak out. that is eventually the sign of you'll gain even better. that is just some of my viewpoints. it may be correct and it may be wrong too.

adieu.

25102009

2009-10-25T22:49:00.004+08:00

Hello readers.
Whats up? Hee. Im officially BORED. got nothing to do at the moment, just watching movie titled 'mirrors'. I've watched it long time ago, that was a year or 2 years ago.

So anyway, geez i haven't done my lit revision. Im thinking of doing a re-arrange to my messy room. Home chores are waiting for me for tomorrow. Oh ya, i've done some shopping today. Mummy bought me a pillow along with a new bedsheet. But unfortunately the bedsheet doesn't come along with a comforter, huu..need to mix and match with my old comforter.

I've got news. You readers, kamu2 my friends are invited to come to my house on november, 1st(sunday) for my niece's birthday celebration. It will be held probably during lunch time, yeah at 1 pm maybe. Do come, okay. And bring some presents, thank you =) our theme will be BLUE. So if you want to wear blue, you're most welcome.

P/s: i may only tell you the info through this blog. My credit will be expired so im not going to top-up for quite some time and so i won't be able to reply any of ur text messages. Please be inform kawan-kawan saya.

Wishing. Greeting.

2009-10-24T00:06:00.002+08:00

Hey people.
Quick post for this midnight. Here's the thing, i snooze my alarm for bubuchacha's birthday and it is today, the 24th.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO WAFIE HARIS. May his upcoming life will be fill with joy, laughter and fun. May Allah bless him and semoga finding the right person to be with. Selamat hari jadi =)

A day off.

2009-10-23T18:22:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I just got back from jalan. It was tiring. We went jalan around 10-ish and went home at 5. Huhu.

It was me and the parents. Went to batu bersurat, yayasan and hua ho mall. I bought a t-shirt. Hehe. I've always love clothes made in brunei. 1st its cheap and 2nd comfy. It may not look glamorous but sure it is very comfy. I think i've bought more than 5 clothes there and most of it are below $10. Today i bought a clothes and it cost only $6. I will wear that on sya's celebration. So anyway buy clothes, eat..mummy bought a bag in yayasan then we're off to hua ho mall to buy sya's present. She likes it =) we bought a toy car for her to ride.

I've one more thing to share, i've asked the kedai that i bought clothes if there's any vacancy. Turns out there is and they've given me a form. Hehe. Semangat. Well, the kedai is eco-friendly; the salesgirl is bruneian and the owner is my father's friend.

Thats all for today. I need to catch up with my study. Will strt revising tomorrow, hopefully.

Adieu.

3 down, 7 more to go

2009-10-22T18:19:00.002+08:00

That was quick. Now im left with 7 papers. Well, okay lah dari 10 kann.

Overall i would say not satisfying at all. I haven't feel satisfy yet with what im doing. Huu~ malay 2 was totally a crap. I think i've just lost 20 marks on section D. Asas 50, kenapalah kau keluar? Huhu. So section D i made my own essay, my own ideas and well, hentam keromo lah jawabnya. Huhu.

On section A, just fine. B, NYEH! There's 8 characteristics, but i've done only 7 and i knew one of 'em salah berabis. Section C, idk. Lets just hope the markers are very kind enough and generous to give good marks.

Im done with last minutes reading. Did you know, i had a hectic day before the exam strted? I strtd revision last night at 8+ and lasted to 3. Then woke up tadi at 7 then shower and continue revision. I feel my head was about to EXPLODE, seriously! I felt sleepy, so many informations stuffed in my brain. And yeah, i sleep most of the time, although i've drank coffee. Coffee really does not work with me.

Fyi, as if my parents knew i had a rough time answering my questions, they kept on asking me 'apath?' and i said 'bolehlahh' and mum said that does not sound convincing. Hmm. Yeah. But heck, past is past. Lit and geo are waiting for me.

1 down, 9 to go

2009-10-19T12:45:00.003+08:00

Hello readers.
Im done with my first paper, gp. So yeah i rated the paper as just fine.

Here's the thing. I have the urge to check on the internet on my essay topic. I shouldn't, so yeah im kinda dissapointed right now. The internet says cybercrime define illegal activities and blablabla while i say cybercrime relates to chatting, webcaming, etc that has become danger due to people mistreated the use of cyber. Its not mistreated, its MISUSED! huhu. My introductory paragraph sounds more like this 'technology, as we all know has been highly recommended and has been introduced for centuries. Blablabla.. With just a click to the mobile devices or computers we know news from all around the world.' geez! Thats not even related to the topic.

My supporting paragraphs, 4 paragraphs, i mentioned about identity theft, chatting and webcaming that contain inappropiate language and nudity, and the last one clashes opinion on religion that gives an end result of hatred and wars.

Well, i have some points there but the internet it sounded way better, full of ideas and yah, everything. And i forget to mention people hacking computers. Thats the main point actually. I keep repeating my words of 'all around the world' and 'connect people with one another'. Hmm. I shouldn't check up on the internet. This makes me awfully sad.

How i wish an essay is not hand written..typing gives me more ideas. Oh well, whats done is done. Just pray and wish for the best.

P/s: i remember written this in my essay just now, 'this leads teenagers to do sexual activities in their young age. Changing sexual partners can causes serious danger with possibility of having Aids.' haha. Very funny sentences as it doesn't imply or even related to the cybercrime topic!

Im hungry. I should eat something to ease away this worry.

Exams schedules

2009-10-18T00:42:00.002+08:00

19th october - General Paper 1,2

20th october - Malay 1

22th october - Malay 2

6th november - English literature 3

13th november - Geography 1 & English literature 4

17th november - Geography 2,3

18th november - English literature 5

19th november - English literature 6

October, 18

2009-10-18T00:41:00.003+08:00

Hy. Hello readers.
Today was a shit wasted day. Sorry for the cursing. But really, i've wasted my hours for today.

I was planning to lock myself in my room which i haven't got a lock so practically just imagining the door was locked so i could put my arse off to study. It didn't work out. For godness sake! Instead i watched tv and do nothing! What the hell? Im pissed off with me self. If i knew today would be wasted, i should've go to rose's house. I miss her so damn much. And yeah, to cmah, darl sorry for the false alarm. As i've said today 'im kinda busy', well i thought i'll do some revision and not going to rose's. that was the plan but yeah time is so cruel that it flew away just like that and im not doing any effort YET.

I did read atheis book and only few chapters on hang tuah. I haven't started with sastera klasik, moden and not to forget saga. Fuuh~ that was a hell lot of reading.

Im counting days: the day after tomorrow will be gp exam. Gosh, im so damn worry. Gp, it would be excellent if the facts were injected in the essay. And fyi, im outdated. I know nothing of the outside world. I don't watch news. I just watched good movies, and most movies are TOTALLY BLUFFING. I can bluff but hmm. We'll see how it goes. And then malay exam approaches.

Sorry readers. This is a panic attack. Its just that i want to be proud of what i will do. I don't want to regret someday. I don't want someday, somehow the 'if' issue come out. I have the urge to achieve the very best of me. I know i can. But, limited times, lack of resources and references, mood swinging: the lazy and the rajin mood. Ya ALLAH, guide me to success. And uni, im one step closer to you. Amin.

Four in the morning

2009-10-16T04:18:00.002+08:00

Hello readers.
Its been ages i didn't update or do anything with this blog. Its getting lame each and everyday. So yeah, im thinking of updating it with a quick post for today.

By the way, its 16. Its shy's birthday. For the third times i want to wish her happy birthday! Hehe. How was it being 19? Well i believe 19 is the right age for a person. Why? Because you're not too old to become a teenager and not too old to become an adult. Get me? But still, itu pendapat saya.

Sometimes i wish we're still in our 15s, because as we had experienced being younger means more time to play, goof around. In our 18s, it seems irresponsible if we don't behave the way we should. Im not saying 18 is a bad number, its just we should be aware that we're close to that specific word of being ADULT. people grow up, everyone has and will grow up sooner or later and the responsibility of being human is getting loads and i have to admit, i feel the changes. Don't you?

Im not that little kid who used to be hesitated to asked my parents if i can go out with a group of friends, now its different. I don't sleep with my parents anymore. Sometimes mummy chased me out everytime i bring a pillow to their room. I cook now, just a simple dish but still i don't cook ages ago. I can't even play with the matches and now its like 'do whatever you want to do'.

Changes, it may bring fortune and it may bring nightmares to those who are reluctant to accept changes.

One year old

2009-10-09T21:09:00.002+08:00

Before i went on hiatus, i would like to share few things.

Nur ameerah syakirah will be one year old this sunday. We will celebrate her birthday tomorrow evening. Cake, i've longed to eat birthday cake. Happy birthday to my annoying-cute-small-majal niece.

Second, i would like to wish all the best to kamu2, readers for the upcoming exams. Goodluck.

P.s iloveyou. =) this goes to kamu2, my friends and anonymous.

Friday the 9th

2009-10-09T20:53:00.002+08:00

Evening.
Hello readers.

T.G.I.F, thank god its friday. Its holiday. Im so glad there's no more school. Tomorrow will be the last day but i've decided to absent from school.

Exam is almost coming. I've counted the days before exam. I haven't done any revision yet. Geez, panic attack. And fyi, no blogging for me for quite some time.

Im currently watching mickey mouse. Hehe. Sya's with me and mummy. My brother and sister are going out so yeah, babysitting again. Monday will be a good day, a new philippine maid will come. So i can spend my afternoon doing my revision, hopefully.

Quick post

2009-10-08T23:33:00.002+08:00

Evening.
I cannot sleep, as usual. Nyeh.

So yeah, im watching sydney white now. I think its a good movie, maybe. Had an outing earlier with mereka. Went to gadong and kiulap. It was fun. I would say the last fun before the exam.

Okay. Im off. Will update tomorrow, hopefully.

Chuggington

2009-10-06T17:35:00.002+08:00

Hello. Afternoon.

I am watching chuggington with sya. As usual babysitting her, changing shift with mummy. Now its time for me to babysit.

I havent take a nap, which i usually did. I spent almost an hour to work on my essay. I've finished one, so one essay left. Geez~ my study mode is really activated. Good progress. Hehe.

Actually im exhausted. But i've planned to finish up my essay by tonight and finish reading 12th night notes and also reading through sastera. Malay's exam is in less than a month or to be precise 14 days or 2 weeks.

Im back to my childhood's life, watching cartoon now as sya is very much fond of mickey mouse. I love it too. Miska muska mickey mouse~

Tuesday.

2009-10-06T07:30:00.003+08:00

Good morning readers.

I felt slightly enthusiasm today. I can't wait to study, to come to class. I like this spirit, the study mode is reactivated.

I've made lists for today: don't skip anymore class, focus on studying lit, spend my p.s studying in the personal area and don't fall asleep. To make the lists work, i've also came up with solution which are, drink coffee, nyeh don't have coffee so i drank tea. Tell my p.s friends i won't be able to spend my p.s with them. Figure out some tricks to answer miss jean's question of 'where were you yesterday?' and the last would be jotting down notes as we read through top girls in class later.

Okay, that would be the end for this morning. Till next post. Enjoy reading my post =)

Seeing is believing.

2009-10-05T00:14:00.002+08:00

Sunday. Tired. Food. Open houses. Carbonate drinks. Chocolate. Fruits. Baju kurung. Friends. Cousins. Rock band. Thats how my day went today.

Im trying to get a rest. But before that, need to express some thoughts in here. I am so damn tired. My feet aches, headache and extremely needed 5-6 hours rest before school tomorrow morning.

Seeing is believing. Now i understand the meaning by which until we see some truth than we can actually believe it. Deception occurs in our daily life. People lying, promising, crap and crap..thats usual. We have to be smart in order not to be cheated and in worse cases, loss property, life and deception causes broken hearted too.

I have some confession, i get annoyed with him each and everyday. Im annoyed with the fact that his heart has its own owner, the fact that he praises her and uses the moon to personify her smile. I dislike him for knowing her favourite band, for not knowing how it makes me feel when he told me about her, for wishing she will be the first and the last. I felt envy when he dreams about her, when he misses her.
But for most, i pity him because he's too obsessed with the idea of love itself. I may be wrong, but i can also be right.

Its his first love. But if things not seem as it was supposed to be, i could feel the grief. Its hard to deal with first love, people said 'its the love we can never forget'. I knew it very well; the wound may be heal but it mark scars. I felt that before.

Rainy day

2009-10-03T12:29:00.002+08:00

Raining outside.
Hello readers.

Im watching hellboy 2 now and i was absent from school today. I am tired. For no reason, actually. Last night i slept at 2-ish. I texted with zandria until late night.

I don't know how to regain back my rajin-ness and enthusiasm on studying. I became lazier each and everyday. For godness sake, exam is in less than a month!

Im done with blogging. Im tired. Nyeh.

Foods.

2009-10-02T19:30:00.002+08:00

Great foods. Pasta. Asparagus with meat.

Hello readers!
We, mummy, papi and me self just got back from rimba. Usu ani invited us, the family for the open house. Tomorrow will be tangah's open house and sunday amit's. Nyeh. Got so many invitation this week. But still, its good. Great food everyday. I think im gaining more and more weight. Huhu.

Okay im done with blogging. Im so full with foods. Hehehe.

Peace. Calm.

2009-10-02T00:25:00.002+08:00

Midnight approches, raining outside and the sound of a moving fan.

Hello!
I feel calm and cold. I feel bliss and relieved. I told mereka2 about the unwanted tragedies, zandria's new life and so on. So practically i don't give a s**t. I was being emo, emo-ing myself last night, listening to sad songs di dah di dah di dah~ he is just another person not the person so move along. Byebye lust. There's always a word saying, life is too short and due to that i thought im so wasting time with crap lately. Its better i fill it with friends, food, fun, anything.

The end chapter of zandria in me life. He, i admit that he's so good as a friend and so lets just stays that way.

Im thinking of making my friday to be busy. I wanted to complete my home chores and read books, literature especially.

Random. Simple.

2009-10-01T02:59:00.002+08:00

My sun has quit shining. It shine no more.

Matahariku telah pergi lalu bulan menyelubungi hariku. Bulan biar siang, biar cahaya matahariku menyinar seperti dulu. Kelam hariku tanpa mu sunshine. Sepi hariku tanpa cahayamu. Kembali seperti dulu, bersinar dan memberi cahaya kepada ku.

Sunshine, don't hide behind the clouds. Have courage and shine like always. Warm day, hot sunny day i've longed for you.

Matahariku, jangan gantikan dirimu dengan bulan. Bulan menyinar tapi tidak secerah sinaran mu. Matahariku, jangan mengundur diri.

Just some nature words. Hehe. Enjoy. I made it up myself =)

p/s: i wanted to sleep but i can't. Got nothing to do. Blurgh~